Appearances Ain't Everything - Poem

We were a pretty smelly lot after a 4 week long operation. No wonder the chopper crews used to hold their breaths when we clambered aboard on fly out day. Staff Litchwark and the LOBs hated to unpack the incoming dhobi (laundry) bundles from personnel in the field on maintdem day (maintenance demand) when we were re-supplied with rations, ammunition, fresh uniforms (greens), water and the biggie of the day a huge filled roll and carton of milk, chocolate if you were lucky.

We never had a chance to wash properly and changed our gear every four or so days, under wear were never worn. Shaving was not compulsory until maintdem day and then only if there was water to spare. Whiskered faces and dirt was camouflage paint in disguise. However skin diseases were prevalent due to non washing.

Appearances Ain't Everything

Jokers smell like a thousand years
Mud and sweat from feet to ears
Rotten cheesy smelly socks
Mossie bites like chicken pox

Smelly greens that stink of sweat
Maintdem ain’t been flown in yet
No new gear until next week
By cripes by then we’ll really reek

Rotten water makes you think
Oh, for ice cold beer to drink
Wouldn’t mind a nice big steak
Give these rations a blooming break

Hexies flaming awful fumes
Use PE that rally zooms
Need to cut my blooming hair
But that is really neither here nor there

Really ought to shave my face
Appearance is a damn disgrace
New dry boots would go alright
Think I’ll ask the Sarge tonight

Peter M. Anderson 310415
Whisky Three 1RNZIR
6 & 2RAR ANZAC BNs
Viet Nam 1969-70

Read more about my Viet Nam experience here.

Copyright Peter M. Anderson. Not to be published or reproduced without the permission of the copyright holder.

Maintdem: The maintdem was coordinated by the platoon sergeant from section 2ICs who asked troops what they needed e.g. New boots, shirts, socks, trousers, jungle hats cleaning kits oil, 4 x 2 cleaning cloths , canteen food, extra cigarettes, sugar, coffee tinned food curry powder and two minute noodles etc. The platoon sergeant then coded and sent the list in on the radio call a day or so before the maintdem day. Sugar was always in demand and towards the end of our tour sugar was needed for extra energy and I believe, in hindsight, it was an indication of how run down we had become after nine months of operations. I guess in our imaginations we were young 10 feet tall and almost bullet proof.

Hexie: A smokeless fuel tablet for heating food; the American equivalent was ok but let off fumes. In some cases plastic explosive (PE) could be used. A knob the size of a thumb nail would boil water extremely quickly, however there were a couple of down sides, one being if you used too much you could burn the bottom out of the mess tin and secondly if your platoon sergeant found out about it he would give you extra sentry or patrols or charge you. Risky stuff.